This is Why I'm Single
i finally started getting paid enough to cover the cost of gas for my commute.
License
The police called today. They told me that at a routine traffic stop, the driver of the car tried to use a photocopy of MY LICENSE in place of their own. They were unable to identify the man, who proceeded to attempt to eat the photocopy before being stun-gunned by the cop. They need me to come in to see if I can identify him.
Who the fuck has a photocopy of my license?
smiley
so at lunch today, this girl was walking straight at me. she looked JUST like one of the girls from the admissions office that i’m friends with. i gave the biggest smile i could muster. then i realized it wasn’t her and i just smiled REALLY CREEPILY at a COMPLETE STRANGER. fml.
Dancing
so you know those videos that college kids make where they hide a camera in their dorm to take videos of their roommates dancing ridiculously to themselves and you’re sitting there like “there’s no way that actually happens IRL”. well guess what. i realized today that i spend maybe 20% of my “alone” time dancing and singing in my room. so you can put that one under the “confirmed” column.
I’m presenting at a math conference this weekend. How come that can’t be sexy?
Bieber
- (1): I'm in love with Justin Bieber and I don't care who knows it! ♥ hah
- (2): PEDO
- (1): Its not illegal unless you touch.. and that is not what I said.. I said I LOVE him... hah
Creeple
I sometimes find myself Facebook creeping on the people that sit behind me during class for the sole reason of freaking them out. It’s like a bad sport. TIWIS
Rediculous
- (1): this is rediculous. gym with spuds ;)
- (2): you realize you spelled ridiculous wrong, don't you? *please say yes, please say yes, please say yes*
- (1): i clearly dont care losie
- (2): ohhhh god
Moon
- ...After a discussion about mooning people...
- (1): I used to do the phases of the moon for my parents. I'd cover up half my butt and then do waning crescent, waxing crescent...it was really funny.
- (1): And then I'd draw on the man in the moon. I'd have [my brother] do that part. He'd draw him with a highlighter or something.
- (2): That doesn't seem like the first thing that you've had your brother do that's very personal.
